


On My Way to Find You

by scarletsky4748



Category: Golden Child (Korea Band)
Genre: 3355, M/M, please do have tissue next to you just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletsky4748/pseuds/scarletsky4748
Summary: It's at the station where they met and where things happened.
Relationships: Hong Joochan/Kim Jibeom
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: Golden Age Fic Fest





	On My Way to Find You

It’s a small town and he knows everyone, but he never saw that man.

That man, quietly sitting on the brown bench on the other side of the station, is a total stranger to his knowledge.

He remembers every familiar face, especially those who regularly took the train to commute. Majority of people in this town prefers to have a steady work where it didn’t require them to travel a lot. After all, many are elderly. The younger ones usually choose to move to a bigger town for bigger fortune or commuting back-and-forth to make a living while saving to move.

So, is he a new citizen here? His face looks… foreign?

He watches this stranger carefully with a pair of sharp eyes.

The outfit is rather bizarre, crashing. He seems to be comfortable in it nevertheless.

His hair is deep brown, like the wood of the forest he often visited when he was young.

That man surely is not from here. Inwardly he wonders. His focus is pinned still.

Then suddenly, the stranger lifts his head.

For a split second, their eyes meet.

He immediately turns his head the other way, must be looking for too long on his side for the stranger to notice.

A shred of embarrassment for getting caught gets him pinkish. Yet, after some minutes, he takes another peek. It’s just hard not to stare. A completely new face and above all, a handsome one, and also… this stranger has the tender radiance that somehow feels so familiar.

Curiosity can kill a cat, they said; he at least should consider how this curiosity may put him in some kind of danger.

But the stranger looks so serene and the cries of train arriving didn’t budge him at all.

“Are you going?”

The conductor snaps him back to reality. He grins, cheeky. He quickly gets into the train, taking his usual seat near the door and glancing at the window to see that stranger once again.

One last time. He swears that’ll be the last time.

Coincidence enough, their eyes meet, again, and the stranger smiles at him.

Somehow, he can’t take his eyes away and dumbfoundedly he stares like an idiot until the platform vanished from his sight.

***

He loves this town, handling the farm with his older brother to spend the weekend is especially one of his favourite activities. Jangjun is crazy but his mind is truly a country asset. He can learn so much from that unique mind. Still, he wants to find new challenges and expend himself as a person and so he’s been thinking about moving to a bigger city. He has his dreams and he’s going to fight for it. No matter the obstacle going to halt his way, he will continue to walk fearlessly forward.

However, lately, between his weekly routine of taking the train, teaching his students next town, preparing for the new orchestra performance, making to-do-list and all, he keeps thinking of this stranger.

Although this man isn’t visibly looking for attention, he’s eye-catching alright, an absolute eye-candy. It remains a mystery how people just walk past him so easily.

Well, that sense of fashion is quite the terror, maybe that’s why. But, that face surely makes an amend of that. Plus, the colour choice is not that bad or overwhelming. Instead, it’s calming and neat. Handsome yet humble, he can very much feel that vibe from him.

Also, when their eyes meet, this stranger will smile.

His smile is warm. 

Every time that scene happened, he swears he got a mini heart-attack.

He keeps getting this idea; is that stranger probably… a model? Though, why would a model life in a small town like this?

It becomes a habit then, watching that man on the opposite side of the platform and suddenly a month is gone.

They begin to share this regular little smile and nod of knowing each other existence.

One day, a surprising day it is, that man waves at him. Then, he does some gestures with his hands. He points at the eyes and him.

Unfortunately, the train crosses without warning. It’s most likely his hearing suddenly become useless because he’s way too focused on Mr Stranger

He gasps in pure annoyance when the train stops right in front of him. He’s certain that the stranger wants to say something to him through that gesture. So, why in the middle of such an important moment?

He skips the train.

Without thinking he just skips the train and throws away his perfect on-time record through the window. He’ll just make some excuses for his student later, she definitely will understand since he’s never late, right?

It’s more major than life or death matter. This stranger.

The cloud darkens, rain trickles slowly hitting the ground. The sound is loud on the quiet platform.

When the train is completely gone, the stranger disappears too.

***

The next few days he feels agitated and curios. All is thanks to the mysterious stranger.

His student called last night and moved their schedule this week because she’s going to go on a trip with her parents. Thus, he’s left with no excuse to slip and go to the station, especially with his close relative visiting and the rain that’s been pouring non-stop.

The rain makes him hungry. He craves for this fried chicken from that stall of their neighbour town, near his student home. Maybe he can make that as an excuse?

“A penny for your thought?” Talk about coincidence, the said relative suddenly pops beside him with an offer of a cup of warm chocolate.

A figure he looks up so much, Choi Sungyoon.

He gives a coy grin in return, getting caught in the middle of daydreaming.

“Hyung, I met this person in the station…” hesitantly he starts the tell-tale. He hasn’t told anyone about this stranger. It makes him nervous now that he tells someone about it. “He did this gesture with his hands.” Carefully, he imitates from the memory of the stranger’s gesture. “Did it mean anything?”

“For real?”

Sungyoon settles beside him. He excitingly replies. The gleam in his eyes is warm and welcoming without a shred of doubt. 

Isn’t that weird? He thought people will cringe or give him the weird look based on how he seems to be already attached to this stranger.

“Yes, hyung. Is there any actual words in there?”

The older nods almost too soon. Seriously, Sungyoon is a saint, to say the least. He volunteers in a lot of humanity event and has helped a lot of unfortunate and disable people.

He admires Sungyoon a lot. The older, after all, not only have a big heart, he’s a hard worker who pursues his dream as a singer.

“That’s a sign language,” Sungyoon explains as he mimics it. A bright smile curves on his lips. “It means, _hello, I see you. Can I know you_?”

Listening to that explanation, his brain suddenly kicks and he is taken aback.

“Oh!”

“Ehh?” It takes him a while to actually process the fact. However, the surge of warm tingling in his heart is indescribable. He feels so full of a sudden rush.

“Is he handsome?”

Sungyoon has been always playful but that statement caught him there.

“Ish hyung!”

He admits himself a pansexual. Particularly, the main reason why he stays single for so long is because of that. People nowadays barrier themselves with high-wall and vague comfort. He, on the other side, seeks for that deep emotion.

“… well a little.”

Suddenly he wonders, does someone turn up the heater? Cause his cheeks feels kinda hot.

But well, that stranger is handsome. He rubs his neck like a kid caught guilty from stealing candy.

“That’s new.”

A chuckle and a poke.

He pouts at the vivid teasing tone from the older.

“If you think that he’s harmless, why don’t you reply to him? Your sense of people is top-notch tho.” Then, a pause. “But from what you told me, it’s possible that he’s mute. You okay with that…?”

There’s doubt in Sungyoon’s voice and he understands the worries.

“Why would it not be okay?” It’s never his concern to begin with, and Sungyoon should know better.

“Indeed, it’s you.” The ruffle on his hair is light. Another light chuckle. “The lil bro I’m very proud of."

“Now hyung, you better teach me about sign language so I can answer him next time I see him!”

Hence, that determination is the milestone of that day. One that he’ll remember for the days which will come forward.

***

After a week skip and an intense training about sign language, that shinny day has come. He arrives at the station, on that usual place he will see the stranger. 

He’s determined. He’s so going to meet this stranger and reach to meet him.

True as it is, like the clockwise that never miss a second; That man is there again. He wears the same jacket. The more he looks at it, the more he feels familiar. Tho, it’s weird seeing him wearing that jacket since the weather is a bit too warm.

He takes the initiative, waving at that man.

That man on the other side seems to be very excited to meet him, or so he thought. There’s no big gesture but the way his face light up is just, the way to spring again.

On his side, he is too excited that his brain seems lagging and he only waves nonstop.

Good thing the train announcement wakes him up from that overwhelming trance, completely forgetting his initial plan to converse with the stranger.

Panicking, he tries to remember what Sungyoon had taught him.

“Ah!”

He points at himself hurriedly.

The man on the other side seems to be clueless at first but he immediately picks up the gestures, then there’s a smile there.

He feels so proud. Carefully now, he does the ‘what’s your name’ in sign language after the ‘hello! Glad to see you again!’.

The board above his head shows a notice that the next train is going to arrive in about a minute.

There, the stranger he always waits to meet nods and begin to un-anonym himself.

His heart beats so fast for some reason.

For that very glorious awaited moment, he squints. The alphabet sign language needs more attention, his hyung has mentioned. Since it’s performed specifically with fingers and they’re like maters away.

He squints. Those fingers tho, it’s long and pretty. He wonders; can that person play piano like him? They can have a duet and he’ll love to hold it-

And just like that, he’s distracted. The stranger apparently realizes it and stops midway, waving to get his attention and chuckling.

It’s quite embarrassing. He quickly does a 90-degree bow as an immediate apology. Then for real, he pays attention.

The stranger commences to uncovering his name once again.

Three fingers down, two up.

J

Only pinky up on the air.

I

Four fingers up. He thinks for a while.

“Oh!” He nods several times.

B

A finger out to the side.

EO

Then two fingers fold half-way.

M

He makes a big O when his brain successfully registered all the words.

“Ji- ”

If there’s anything in the world that’s against him and his new-found favourite person, it’s the train. It cries so loudly and he can’t even hear his own cursing.

Nevertheless, he gets the name. They are no stranger anymore and it makes him smile so wide.

Jibeom.

A name he will surely remember for a long time.

He steps into the train. Although he wants to skip the train, he has work to do and the orchestra won’t tolerate him for being late. From the transparent window, he searches for him, Jibeom.

It gives him goosebumps. Now, Mr Stranger is not Mr Stranger anymore.

He sees that beautiful smile tugs up with a light wave sending his train off with a question.

" _Can I know yours too_?"

That weird feeling surges again, and he feels so warm inside. He answers with a nod and a thumb up.

***

After that day, his meeting with the-no-longer-a stranger, Jibeom, always cut short. Should it train, his student, his moving plan, his friend, the orchestra, something just appears. They barely exchange words.

It leaves his heart heavy every time it happens. The expression on Jibeom face is one that he can describe. It’s curiosity, slightly disappointment, and endearment. He feels his heart winches. His head shouts the possibility of Jibeom miss him so he’s like sad that they can’t yet meet properly. Well, he’s for one, missing the other so bad.

Thus, today he especially wakes up early and goes to the station to meet Jibeom. Despite that, it’s his lazy day.

It’s a good day, bright and breezy. Isn’t that just the right time to spend time catching up with someone special?

He exhales the nervousness in his heart.

Someone special sounds very new to him but Jibeom has somehow managed to make him feel some kind of way and he’ll go for it.

When he arrives at the station, he rubs his hand to lessen the anxiety feeding his nerves.

He wants to meet him so bad, at least they should exchange number.

His moving day is just around the corner, at the end of this week which literally is just in two days times. Hence, they should progress, a bar at a minimum. He’s quite confident that their feeling is mutual.

Well, you don’t just repeat a meeting with a stranger you completely have no interest for weeks.

He inhales and takes the step into the station.

Maybe it’s the way his heart beating too fast or because it’s Sunday and people prefer to spend their time with their family but that day everything seems to be quieter than usual.

His step echoes, loud.

There’s a longing he can’t describe and it’s all directed towards a man he only knows within a month and a half.

They didn’t properly talk. All he knew is his name and he is a good guy (or so his tingling told him). he has a dimple, not that visible but if you pay enough attention, you can see it when he smiles. He’s adorable and he’s handsome.

That’s honestly a shallow foundation to deem someone as your special person, he knows. Seriously, how if it’s all an act and he’s subjected to be kidnapped or targeted for his organ?

He scratches the back of his head, he should watch less horror crime movie with his brother. Jangjun wild mind started to doctrine his no kidding.

Jibeom is surely not that type of person. His tingling is sharp and so he believes it. Also, he’ll prove it. Today.

He gulps.

Head peaks up after the deep thought, looking ahead for the subject of his wondering. As expected Jibeom is there. But unlike the usual where he stands and actively looks for him, Jibeom was sitting on the bench, looking faraway to nothing.

The sound of announcement is loud, the train that’s usually going to bring him to the station next town is two stations away.

He hurriedly crosses the railway, for the first time since their eyes meet. He’s going to face this man that’s been poking his curiosity non-stop.

He arrives at that platform slightly breathless from running. Then, he approaches Jibeom who comes to realize him being there seconds later.

There’s a surprise in his face, followed by happiness and he can’t help but mirrors the smile on Jibeom’s face.

“I miss you.” Not wasting his time, he gestures and speaks it in whispers. Jibeom, instead of giving him an answer, immediately reaches forward and gives him a big hug.

The heavy hook tugs his heart suddenly release its grip. His eyes feel teary. It feels like a long-awaited reunion, somehow. The tight hug wrapping his smaller figure is so warm and it feels as if springs engulf him. The breezy wind, warm sun, the wind chimes and he looks up catching the glimpse of Jibeom’s eyes.

Everything about Jibeom speaks of warmth tender.

A moment he depicts forever.

Jibeom awkwardly releases him from the hug when he’s aware that he’s being stared. A deep bow for apologize.

It’s both cute and making him soft. He can guarantee that Jibeom is indeed a kind soul.

He shakes his head, grinning, tapping Jibeom’s shoulder and signaling him that it’s ok.

After that, the day goes in serene silence. They communicate in sign language at that empty platform. Jibeom is the one asking first.

“ _How have you been_?”

After that, it just goes naturally, like meeting an old friend. He tells Jibeom about the orchestra and his students, about how he learnt sign language and how he went to the farm with his brother last weekend.

Then he asks Jibeom about himself.

From there, he knows that the full name is Kim Jibeom. His dream is to be a doctor, a dentist. However, because his English wasn’t that good, he changes his direction to be a teacher. He’s a teacher for Korean Language and History before he lost his voice.

When he asks about how Jibeom lost his voice, there’s a sad look in his face. It’s an unfortunate event he said, but he didn’t go for the details so he refrains from asking further.

He’s so immersed in the conversation. They just… connect? He isn’t sure about the term but he’s pulled into the conversation. He really likes to talk to Jibeom.

Their conversation goes so smoothly that neither of them realizes the day is going to end. Orange and red begin to taint the sky above their head.

That time, Jibeom pauses and looks at him with this cheeky smile.

“ _Can I know your name_?”

At that time, he feels kinda dumb. He never tells Jibeom his own name while there he already regards Jibeom as his special person. 

He gives a firm nod, of course, he’ll let Jibeom know his name. That reminds him, he’ll ask for his number after this.

Carefully, he forms his name with his fingers. 

It is then silence. Then Jibeom looks at him. He smiles, that smile reaches his eyes. But there’s a tint of looming doom there.

_‘Hong Joochan.’_

And he hears a voice. It’s gentle, a soothing one. It calls him so affectionately.

He swears it comes from Jibeom. But, those lips are unmoved. It’s tightly sealed.

Then, the weirdest thing happens, Jibeom looks transparent; translucent between the sinking sun and the dim platform lamp.

His feet seem to be glued to the ground and his whole body can’t move. He just stands there, watching as Jibeom becomes more like a transparent ghost he often sees in drama.

Jibeom, on the other hand, moves closer, gentle planting a kiss on his forehead.

After that, just like that, Jibeom slowly vanished from his eyes, his smile matching the tender glow of the setting sun. 

_‘Thank you.’_

That’s the last thing he hears before Jibeom completely disappears as if he is never there to begin.

***

The tick of clock numbs his head. Joochan looked at the window, to the platform on the opposite side. Nothing is there.

“Are you okay?”

Sungyoon sat beside him after he puts down their belongings. Joochan is always chatty. It’s rare to see him being so quiet.

“Well, I’m going to leave this town though. Of course, I feel a lil bit sad hyung.” He answers with a simple smile while sticking his gaze to the window, gazing at the bench on the platform of the other side.

Sungyoon pats his head, following his relative’s gaze. The image of Joochan crying in his hug from yesterday is still stagnant in memory.

It’s dreadful to see someone so cheerful falling apart completely. He’s never told about what causes him so. Joochan keeps quiet about that.

However, the way he stares at the platform informs the older enough that it has to do something with the mute stranger he regularly sees in the station.

Was he rejected? Sungyoon isn’t sure about that. But Joochan is never a weak kid, he’s soft but tough. A very tough one. Being rejected won’t cause him such deep misery.

It’s more like he’s left by a beloved in a sudden accident.

Sungyoon takes a peek from the corner of his eyes, watching closely at the empty stare of Joochan’s eyes.

It hurts to see someone he cares so deeply being beaten like that.

“If you need someone to share, I’m close, okay?”

Joochan looks at him, giving a reassuring smile. He nods slightly.

“Sure hyung.”

Then, they return to that quietness. Joochan doesn’t move from his position, looking far ahead through the window as the train starts to move.

Sungyoon tags along, staring on the same spot, and there, he sees a man, manifested from thin air.

A man.

He whispers.

_‘Thank you, Joochan.’_

***

**A month before the story.**

Kim Jibeom was no stranger to tragedy. He lost his parents at four to a car accident. Then, at twelve he lost his only family and only support, his brother, for the same reason.

Life was never particularly easy since then.

People judged him; his relative claimed him to bring bad omen and hardly anyone is willing to help.

Although he grew to be a fine man despite the misery, it didn't change their view. Hence, the fear continuously hunted him; that he will bring bad things to anyone he’s close with.

Jibeom constantly put a distance with people around him. He learnt to be nonchalant and to be less known around his surroundings. Keep his profile low, that’s the best way to make sure everyone safe.

Thus, even if he has an outstanding look, personality and skill, he never feels good for himself.

It’s always like that.

Until one day, on a rainy day, someone changed it.

He’s grieving for a loss of soul, a boy under his care just passed away today. He can only think that he had a hand in his death. They're close and so he brought bad omen to this wonderful boy he met in the orphanage.

He’s sluggish, sitting quietly on the bench at the train platform with a solemn expression. His lips were pale as he only wore a simple t-shirt and jeans in that cold weather, wishing to be taken away from this world.

What good was left of him?

A stranger suddenly rushed to his direction and gave his jacket to him. Jibeom can only recall his voice. It’s soft and sweet, honey-like. 

“Gosh, what are you doing in the cold, wear this.”

Oh, and his eyes, it's warm brown like a cup of hot cocoa.

It’s warm and foreign. He’s still there like a statue despite the other actively wrapped the fabric around his body.

He must be cold himself though, the stranger.

“… you don’t need to,” Jibeom replied, almost inaudibly. The stranger only scoffed and placed his palm on his forehead.

“Nonsense, you’re freezing.”

“If you help me, something bad can happen to you.”

“Why?”

And so, out of depression he told the stranger his story, how people keep dying around him.

He looked at the stranger next to him, expecting a grimacing face. Yet, he found the stranger to be unbothered. The stranger, instead, soothingly rubbed his back.

It’s really warm.

He stayed there, the stranger, insisting to keep him company while waiting for his train. At that time, Jibeom hardly said anything, but the stranger listened to him closely, to his pain, and occasionally reassured him while he answered only with a quiet sobbing. 

It’s like a dream, for Jibeom to be held and understood, it’s the first experience in his life.

He’s very thankful, grateful, and indebted for the stranger’s company.

Unfortunately, when the train arrived and they should part, he can’t utter those words from his mouth. He’s so overwhelmed with the unfamiliar kindness from this stranger. It felt surreal.

He wanted to utter those words so bad.

_Thank you._

It’s the stranger that gave him a present for parting instead, a big tight hug.

He thought, maybe tomorrow he'll meet that guy again.

Tragically, on the next day, he lost his life trying to save a little girl from a train crash while searching for that stranger to return his jacket.

**Author's Note:**

> Self Prompt! It's heavily inspired by '너만 보인다(I See You)' by our boys truly. I'm sorry for any grammar error and my first angsty for this pair :") I AM SORRY BABIES TT and also I wanna remind us all and myself, to be kind to everyone we meet. Because, we never know what happened in one's life :")
> 
> Thank you for the team of @goldenageff to make the event! It's fun! Though, this is a very belated upload, work is really something at the year end. Hope you enjoy it!


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